Unicorn armpit hair – yes, you read that correctly!
In the spirit of group-think (or maybe it’s “non-think”), another trend is unicorn armpit hair. Not sure how rainbow dye correlates to a unicorn, but the minds of trendsetters are quixotic things – taking ideas out of the ether. Creating somethings out of nothings, more like.
Check out the following how-to if you’d like to cringe:
Dyed armpit hair – rainbow in specific – first hit the scene when “hair stylist Caitlin Ford teamed up with a client to do something special to celebrate Pride month,” the Mirror says. But pride is the root of a great many things.
Enter Januhairy – yes, you read that correctly, too – also known as January to us less-creative patriarchal types. This novel tribute to follicles and what they produce “was founded by 21-year-old drama student Laura Jackson who is aiming to promote the ‘acceptance of body hair on women’ through the movement, as well as raising plenty of money for charity.”
I’m not sure what actual charities will benefit or how money is collected. Is the idea to donate what cash would be spent on razors? (Possibly the savings is passed on to men who must shave in order to counter toxic masculinity!) Maybe money gleaned by women not shaving their legs, etc. is meant to offset the cost of manufacturing that perfect brow?
I can’t help noticing the sculpted arches and absence of stray facial hairs on some of the ladies pushing for hair acceptance. (Female fertility acceptance is another cause waiting in the wings – something that could get society in touch with the reality that relations between men and women are meant to result in babies. The toxicity of synthesized estrogen from birth control pills is nothing short of pollution. But even radical feminists would likely find that topic too radical!)
Here’s a quick video to get everyone up to speed:
Good grief. What’s next? Armpit hair enhancements for the woman who can’t virtue signal for want of a more hirsute display? Fuzzy wuzzy socks to simulate leg hair so that women won’t get accused of not being one with the cause? While men are shamed for having hair, women will now be shamed for choosing to take care of theirs in the way they see fit.
Down with patriarchy – down with shaving because you feel like it. Down with personal choice in anything, and nature – off with its head. Shaving one’s legs has a massive societal impact that must be staunched (much like men’s facial hair).
One thing is true: If acceptance of our bodies is really at the core of these movements, any connection between “unicorn” coloring and Januhairy is out of line. Why? Because there’s no such thing as naturally occurring rainbow hair. Same goes for pierced ears, belly buttons or eyebrows. Tattoos are similarly unnatural, but I doubt we’ll hear the feminist outcry against them.
But if flashing hairy legs and pits is what does it for a woman, I say go ahead. Be prepared, though. Hair on women is natural, but so too is the resulting reaction of distaste from men and women alike.
Forced landings – plague on a plane
Terror in the sky? Maybe not. And yet a jet was forced out of the skies on its way to Dubai.
“Ural Airlines flight U6-893 reportedly left from Moscow Saturday carrying 150 passengers,” Fox reports. “Just over a half an hour after the flight took off, some on board started reporting feeling ill.”
Passengers weren’t only feeling ill, but looked the part. Turning green. Some reported feeling choked.
The Sun reports one woman, unaffiliated by the mystery illness, who said, “I was woken by a young woman screaming for assistance. She yelled and screamed ‘Help, help!’ because her husband felt ill. He was feeling really bad. He was suffocating and he couldn’t breathe in.”
Panic swept through the aircraft with parents shielding children from the seeming epicenter – rows 21-26 in economy class. The fear? Airborne contagion. Understandable, with panic thick in the hermetically sealed compartment.
Emergency medical crews – “doctors and paramedics from five ambulances” – rushed onto the grounded plane to handle the crisis.
There is no definitive diagnosis of the two passengers taken to the hospital. Others were treated for symptoms and allowed to return to the plane that eventually took off, landing safely in Dubai.
Check out the video below to see some emergency landings caught on camera:
All told, only five passengers on the plague flight reported feeling ill. The terror, though real enough for those afflicted, resided mostly in the projections of what could be happening. Sometimes that’s the worst nightmare of all.
Stupid is as stupid does – don’t try this at home
Kids may do the strangest things, but so do adults.
“A new study published in the Irish Medical Journal recounts the case of a 33-year-old man who was hospitalized after repeatedly injecting himself” with his own bodily fluids, according to HuffPo, “to relieve chronic back pain.” (Readers who want the specs on which lovely was chosen as a potential pain relief home-hack, feel free to follow the link.)
Lucky for this man, he decided to seek legitimate treatment. Otherwise doctors may never have noted his infected arm, the target of 18 months’ worth of injections. Makes me wince at the treatment and the utter stupidity. The patient admitted, “He had devised this ‘cure’ independent of any medical advice.”
You don’t say?
But hey, buying syringes is legal. So is making idiotic choices that often end up doing more harm than good. Thankfully, not all home remedies are utterly devoid of common sense and/or effectiveness.
Check out the following home-hacks that actually work, without sending patients to the hospital:
Stupid is as stupid does, and those in pain will often do the strangest things. So if you have a life-hack for pain relief that works, please pass it on. If not, just go see the doctor.